Monday, May 10, 2010

Caring OR Intrusion

There is a fine line between Caring for / about someone, and intruding where you shouldn't.
This fine line is known as BOUNDARIES

Now much can be written about personal Boundaries so I'll make that a discussion for another time.
The reason I am writing about this is because I myself am guilty as I am sure many of you who read this, may be also.

So how does it start?
Generally you are a caring person, one who enjoys giving of yourself to others. Now there is nothing wrong with giving, it is commendable. However, it should not be done at the expence of overstepping another's personal boundaries. 

In other words, don't assume the other person wants, or would like you to do something?  Ask them first, and allow them to accept or reject.

Caring is: * Treating others with kindness and respect. 
  *  Being sensitive to anothers feeling.
* Giving help when needed and when asked.
* Using empathy in a caring capacity.
Common sense needs to be used for when the help is needed without the asking, (as when a person is injured).  Or, when you should ask.
Not everyone likes to recieve help, especially those with a cultural difference.
  
Intrusion is: Giving what one may consider as extra care.
In other words, going beyond that which has been asked or that which is required.
By doing this,  personel boundaries for the other person can be overstepped.

*Quote: Too often we underestimate the power of touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring.
All of which has the potential to turn a life around.
(Leo F Buscaglia)

*And the Bible book of Matthew 7:12.
"So whatever you wish others to do for you, do for them also."


7 comments:

  1. this was very good, making it clear that too much of a good thing isn't really a good thing! i have been guilty of this so many times, especially with my adult daughter. she would be sharing with me about this or that, usually a problem, and i would tell her how i would go about fixing it. this went on for awhile and i began to notice she wasn't talking to me as much as before. sincere prayer and listening brought about revelation..."she wasn't asking for your help, she wants you to listen and validate her." oh. i get it! point well taken and we are the best of friends again!
    your post was excellent, crystal mary, thanks for taking the time to present it!

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  2. A very worthwhile and clear distinction. It puts into words a lot of what I've been trying to assess. Thank you.

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  3. Hi there! Thanks for taking a peak at my blog and for posting a comment too!! You should come to Malta some day :)!

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  4. Good point and I love the picture of the birds.

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  5. Well said my friend.......:-) Hugs

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  6. Hi Sheri, Sr Ann Marie,Victor, Zen, Sabine, and Bernie...Thank you all for visiting and your comments. And to Zen, I would love to visit Malta,a beautiful corner of the world.
    Blessings and hugs to all..

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