I fell in love at an early age.
To me he was everything. So much so that I ALMOST worshipped him.
In fact, if God had not been holding me securely to himself, then he would have become as a God
to me.
I am now 74 years old and have only just come to this understanding.
I would not be the a faithful servant of the Lord that I am today, it I hadn't suffered from this man.
If I hadn't been pushed away by him.
Matthew 10:37 reads
"He that loves father or mother (man or woman) more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
I learned from reading this verse that God MUST come first.
Do YOU put someone or something in front of your love for God?
Lying on my bed, I asked the Lord why?
Why didn't my first husband show me the love I so needed.
In thirty five years of us being together I knew I was never that special person in his life.
A year after coming out of that marriage I got into a relationship with a colleague. A kind, gentle, intelligent man, one who I cared for very much. One day he told me that I should read the book, "Women who love too much." He said it would help me to understand myself.
We remained together - on and off for eight years until I broke away. I was NOT that special someone to him either.
Later I married Ray. Sadly there is not the love there that I have desired.
Ray suffers from combat related P.T.S.D. and lives in a world of his own most of the time.
I go to bed alone. He may come and sleep for a few hours, but when I wake up, he is gone.
Ray and I sat at the table with two Christian friends who came to visit a couple of weeks past. Before they left my box of precious promises was handed around for each of us to receive a message from the Lord.
Manners prevailing, I took mine last.
This is what it read:
"Crystal, your maker is your husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and your Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called." Isaiah 54:5
I had read this verse before, but never took it as a personal message for myself.
Was I shocked? YES! I was.
My husband was sitting with us, and I saw he was also stunned.
Now I realize as you may also - the WHY of happenings in my/your life.
Time on earth is short in comparison to Eternity in Heaven.
