It was 2004 and I worked as a registered nurse in an Australian emergency department.
The past 10 years prior this my life was a busy one of re-education and learning different patient care methods.
Life was full, or so I thought.
I met Ray on-line after one of our doctors insisted I get a life.. (his words).
Danny (Dr. Navaz) had always been a favored at work, so I listened to him.
Plus I believed through his words (he told me twice on two different occasions), God was speaking.
Ray and I married in Tennessee and I lived there for three years.
Recognizing he was untreated for P.T.S.D. I made sure the V.A. knew about it and helped him with the needed medications.
It wasn't and hasn't need easy and I am sure that many veteran wives will verify this.
The vets can be and are helped.
The wives who suffer, are not.
We are the ghosts, those unrecognized ones who take the blunt.
We love our husbands, feel compassion for their hard memories, forget ourselves and nurture them.
If there is violence, we accept it. If there are repercussions, we mostly, not always, but try to, - keep silent.
WE... are victims of society who struggle to survive. Who laugh when we want to cry and remain silent when we feel like screaming.
Do I desire to stop breathing? Many times.
Have I been blamed for his conduct by in-laws, YES!
Do I still love him? YES!
And I always will.
I don't blame my husband for his problem. My father suffered after WW2 with PTSD, and because of this, I have a better understanding.
This is NOT your typical Domestic Violence. This is a problem in ALL countries and cultures where
innocent people are sent to war. Their trauma becomes the trauma of all concerned who love them.
Those who would blame you aren't worth thinking about. They are the ones who would probably have less patience than ANYBODY when THEY are the one affected. God knows you and God understands.
ReplyDeleteIt still hurts.. thank you my friend.
ReplyDelete