Friday, February 25, 2011

TRAUMA- GRIEF and LOSS

2 Corinthians 4:16-18



" Therefore we do not lose heart!!


Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.


So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen.... is eternal."


I guess when you come through much trauma and hurt in your life, there comes a time when you can't bear any more.


This could be termed denial.


It's where I stand in regard to the devastation in New Zealand.


Tonight I allowed myself to watch the evening news..
Only to hear of a man caught under rubble whose life depended on amputation.


The doctor interviewed described how this man would have died in approximately 15 minutes as his legs were crushed.
Using tools from nearby workmen, his legs were cut off.
He is now recovering in hospital.
Grief..... at the loss of his limbs...

And what of those doctors who performed the rough operation?
Grief...... at the effect of what needed to be done.
Grief...... at the lack of hygienic conditions.
Grief...... there was no other choice!


There are many reasons for grief, and this week in N.Z. some of those reasons will become apparent.


Loss of a loved one.
Loss of a body part.
Loss of health.
Loss of a home.
Loss of income.
Loss of work.
Loss of a city.
It takes a while for reality to hit, and it hasn't yet.


The trauma builds up.
And although people put on a brave face.                                                    
No-one knows except themselves, how their heart aches.


This diagram shows the emotional walk through grief and loss.



It's something we all, at some time, walk alone.
No words can mend the pain, only time eventually heals.


How can we help when someone is grieving??
By simply holding a hand and listening...
By just being there.


One thing they don't need to hear is, "get over it," or "time heals."


It's a hard place to be in.
And yet there is good in everthing.

When we mourn, we are comforted.
When we sorrow, we understand anothers..
When we overcome, we grow.  



Then He (Jesus) said to them:
“Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.
There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven."
Luke 21:10
(And then the end will come)... 


































32 comments:

  1. I think all those curly bits on your diagram are so apt as that kind of journey is so full of ups and downs and round about ways...well explained. I think having to dig holes in the back yard to go to the toilet and not being able to shower would just be unbearable after everything else in Christchurch!

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  2. Good morning, Crystal Mary! Thank you for following me---I now follow you. I love your blog!

    I do not understand what is happening in the world. But we can all take heart in the knowledge that He is in control. Love your post---thank you, and God bless.

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  3. Crystal Mary, Good Morning this is a true picture of what our Father has warned us ahead would be coming. Though as Christians we know this must come to pass, we are still human and to get caught up emotionally, however I find when I surrender my "self" thoughts and ask the Holy Spirit to lift and replace my emotions with His I have that pain, fear, or thoughts of doom lifted from my heart and mind...Thank you for this..Have a blessed weekend and may God continue to wrap you in His loving embrace..May all our prayers bring strength to those who are suffering Patricia

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  4. That is indeed a powerful diagram! I hadn't picked up on the curly bits until the first commenter pointed it out. But what I did notice was that the "normal functioning" was represented by squares, and the "return to meaningful life" is represented by circles...it shows how we are changed in this whole process. Thank you for sharing this...I can't imagine the devastation that is being experienced right now in Christchurch...and they just had a trauma like this a few months ago!!! I pray that they receive all they need to help them recover in spirit, soul, body and shelter.

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  5. so very moving. We (I) forget to think of all the levels of destruction, the heavy burden physically, emotionally and spiritually that will go on long after the news is done reporting. Thanks for the thoughtful post.

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  6. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Sometime in our lives we will experience the loss of someone we love. When we do it is so wonderful to have our Lord carrying the load for us. God bless, Lloyd

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  7. I clung to 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 when my wife died along with many other passages. Grief and the many things we go through in this life is tough. I sure do not understand it, but I am so thankful God is working and we have a future beyond what we can even imagine.

    So very true what you said here:
    "How can we help when someone is grieving??
    By simply holding a hand and listening...
    By just being there.


    One thing they don't need to hear is, "get over it," or "time heals."

    I did a post recently. Thank you for sharing this post and I will be lifting you up in prayer.

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  8. There really is a time to Grieve...and also a time to laugh.

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  9. The devastastion in NZ in terrible and I ache inside for the people there.
    Years ago when my mom passed away I was so sad, hurt, lost and I greived with nobody to console me. My husband was like get over it and my kids were to young and were very needy. I had nobody to console me and that is what I needed. I live far away from my family so even my grieving siblings were not around so we could lean on each other. (My husband is very nice it is just that he is a physician and sees death on a daily basis. He tells people they are dying and deals with grieving families. I guess he is hardend to it and only when a child or a non Christian dies does he feel pain.)

    People in a rut need for someonelse to just say yes, yes I hear. You'll be fine hang in there. I love you. God loves you. Here cry for a bit, I'll hold you.

    Great post Crystal Mary but sure did stir up some old feelings.

    God bless,
    <><

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  10. Oh Carol, That is so very true...it would add to the misery.

    Hi Clint, God Bless you also.

    Hello Patricia, yes we cannot remain in doom and gloom, yet we can empathise and understand..God Bless you also.

    Hi Kimberley, I don't think any of us can realise what those poor people are suffering..so hard for them. x

    Shannon, so true, it will continue on long after the news broadcasts. x

    Lloyd my brother, God bless you also.

    Dear Ken, We feel so helpless in offering consolation's, but love in quietness speaks more than words.

    Dear Stan, so very true!!

    Child of God, sharing with tenderness and compassion. God Bless you. x

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  11. Thank you for sharing this profound wisdom of how ones actions from a kind heart should be.

    God Bless,

    Lon

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  12. You are always thinking of others - you're right - there is a time to grieve - and with all that loss - I think they will.

    sandie

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  13. It is tragic what has happened in New Zealand...have been lifting them up in prayer. Thank you for such a lovely post, Crystal Mary...God bless.

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  14. You write straight from the heart. Your own country has dealt with numerous disasters lately, only to see your neighbor suffer such a devastating earthquake. Praying...caring.

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  15. this was powerfully expressed...what you said about the stages of grief is so true...and watching the devestation in NZ and in other places too....it's hurts to see the pain people go through. Thanks Crystal for posting this.

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  16. The events in New Zealand are devestating and my heart goes out to those affected. For those of us who know Christ, our grief is not without hope.

    Thank you for sharing this today.

    Blessings,
    Joan

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  17. Simply expressive and uplifting texts are contained in his blog, with comments relevant.
    www.vivendoteologia.blogspot.com

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  18. It seems like earthquakes and other catastrophies are happening all over the world now more than ever. Plus all the turmoil in the middle east. I see them as signs of the times and the return of Jesus is getting near.
    Blessings and prayers for you.
    Charlotte

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  19. I do not understand what is happening in the world but God will make a way, where there seems to be no way!
    Blessings,
    Virginia

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  20. I am just beginning to help in the youth part of Celebrate Recovery ministry, and the first lesson is over Denial. I am so glad I read this post. I will be praying for you and those effected by the devastation of which you wrote. Thank you for sharing!

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  21. Your post is well timed, and speaks to many hearts around the world. I am one of them. Although my major grief is related to my husband's death, and it happened over two years ago, there are still areas in my life now that I am experiencing new grief... minor or major, grief and pain and loss are all a part of our reality.

    I really appreciate the kindness and the gentleness of your heart, Crystal Mary.

    Thank you so much for what you wrote on this post.

    We are being prepared for the endtimes...

    Love
    Lidj

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  22. Thanks for this Crystal Mary. I just haven't even been able to find my own personal expression for what has again occurred in Christchurch. I have many friends and family in NZ, and a dear childhood friend (a pastor) in Christchurch. I thank God my friend & his family are safe but still , Niue is so closely linked with NZ and we feel numb with shock.

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  23. Poignant post. My heart has been hurting for NZ as well. I don't think any of us who haven't gone through a devastation such as this can totally understand the grief. I have walked through my own grief and went winding through that diagram, often going backwards, wondering if it would ever end.

    Under Pamela's Writings on my blog I have an article about the journey. I hesitate to write this because I'm sure it looks like a ploy to get you to my blog. But if the article can give people hope then its purpose is realized.

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  24. Thanks for your comment and following my blog. You may also like my blog Blble Questions and Answers it is on my side bar.

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  25. Thank you for peeking in on my Flashback Friday to see how dental things operated in rural and small town Nebraska back in the 30's and 40's. I lived in the country and my would be dentist was in our small town of less than 2000. Of course you read that I didn't ever see a dentist until I was a teenager and had a broken tooth.

    I like your treatment of your towns troubles in this post. Of course it was terrible having that large earthquake so near Queensland that caused so much grief. The scripture in your profile came to mind in reading this post: "Turn our Mourning into Dancing and our Sorrow into Joy." Psalms 30:11.

    My Introduction to Psychology class introduced me to Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Also Mrs. Jim, MSW, is a Registered Social Worker who has used this in her work as you seemed to have also. That helps understand things in Ms. Ross's terms. I love your chart with the mini ups and downs at the various stages.

    Thank you again for peeking in. Please come back any time. Cheers,
    ..

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  26. It is such a horrific thing that those in New Zealand are going through.My heart goes out to them all, especially the children. How do we explain what we don't understand to the children?

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  27. Its difficult to answer everyone. So just thank you all..
    Lidj, Grief goes on for a long time, and the older you get the heard it seems to get over things. However, knowing there are others who feel that pain also,doesn't make you feel so alone...yet nothing really is a consolation.xxxx

    About children, I do understand this...I have been there. You play and no one realises the effct on a young heart.

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  28. Crystal Mary,

    So much devastation, so much grief. My Uncle Elmer lived there for many years.

    The chart I understand well, except that I feel as if I'm going through a tornado during that time.

    I too understand about the children.

    God bless you for writing this blog. You bless and help so many people.

    Joey

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  29. Hi Crystal Mary,

    Please know that I stand in prayer with you and the citizens of New Zealand. When I read something like what you've written about a man losing both his legs, I realize that my light suffering pales in comparison. I turn my heart to Chist giving Him thanks for the joy and the promise of eternal glory.

    Blessings and peace.

    MTJ

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  30. So very true... everything you wrote.
    You are so brave to tackle this topic...
    Many blessings to you, dear Crystal Mary...
    And many prayers for the dear people of New Zealand during this very difficult time.
    Ann

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  31. its amazing writing ..so much heart felt ..expressed very nicely ...keep writing :)

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